Adjusting

I have had a few questions about how we are adjusting, so I wanted to write a post on this subject. In the months before picking up Jacinda I had read a lot of families' stories and bought tons of books on adopting. The problem was, I just couldn't seem to get into them and then I would feel guilty. I would hear other adoptive parents talk about their reading list and feel completely inferior. I admitted these feelings to Aimee as well as my social worker and they both had the same advice...Don't worry too much about that. You can always research the specific issues you encounter once she gets home.
So I took their advice. Not to say that I didn't try to prepare for intense grieving, communication problems, food issues and my overwhelming fear that she would try to run away at every opportunity.
But I have to say that in the two weeks that I have been with Jacinda Bizunesh, I have been blown away at the resiliency and adaptation of this little girl.

Food Issues - NONE, not one not from the very beginning with the first serving of French Fries at a restaurant. She has only turned her nose up and given me the finger wag at one thing...hot dogs. And seriously who can blame her? I am pretty sure she thinks our friends' Jonathan and Leisa were trying to feed her a cooked dog at their Memorial Day picnic. LOL! With the recent nutritional news on how bad hot dogs are for you, I don't think I will correct her on this one.
From the beginning, I introduced the one-bite rule (AKA you have to try it) and I think that has made a ton of difference. Admittedly a lot of times her plate looks like a sampler platter, but it has been instrumental in expanding her palate.
Here's a list of some of the foods she has eaten (in the last week or so) in case any other pre-adoptive parents may find it helpful in easing their fears:
BBQ Pork Chops - Baked Beans - Green Beans - Triscuits with cheese - Sausage - Chicken (of course) - Roasted Potatoes - Pears - Tacos - Salsa - Tortilla Chips - Broccoli - Special K Cereal Bars - Peanuts - Ham & Cheese Sandwich - French Fries - Waffle - Cinnamon Raisin Bagels -
Spaghetti (of course) - Grapes - Oranges - Bananas - Applesauce - Granola Bars - Mashed Potatoes - Pizza (a given) - Corn

We went grocery shopping on Saturday and were able to identify several of the foods we had been working on in her vocabulary training program. She was very interested and picked out vegetable soup and several other things to try. This week we are also going to work on the introduction of additional vegetables. Admittedly our supply at the house has been low since I hadn't gone grocery shopping since we returned from Ethiopia.

Grieving - I am sure there are issues to come and there have been maybe three instances of the infamous Ethiopian Pout since we returned home. However each occurrence lasted less than five minutes so I don't have any complaints. It probably helps matters that I am the only other person in the house, so if she isn't communicating with me, she isn't talking with anyone. The other night she fell asleep too late for a nap (not that she takes one regularly) and when I woke her up...instead of her happy little self, she was ticked! She came in for dinner and it was just a scene. So I took her to her room and had a little talk with her. I really wanted to know how she was feeling because I would have laid money on the fact she was angry. However when I presented her with the photo options of anger, tired, sick or sad to choose from, she pointed to sad and broke down in tears. Sad I can handle and I swept her into my arms and held her while she cried and cried right along with her. This incident didn't last long either and soon we were playing with her hair and getting ready for bed.
I am not trying to sugar coat this at all and I am sure that grief will me a recurring emotion over the next months and years and I would be worried if it didn't. But I feel confident that we will face it together.

Communication Problems: Yesterday at church someone asked me if there was a concept that I have been unable to express due to the lack of the same language. The answer is no. Some research asserts that more the three-quarters of communication is non-verbal, so I chose to focus on that. The fact is Jacinda and I can very easily let each other know how we are feeling and what we want.
In addition, her English knowledge is beyond what I could have dreamed. She understands way more than she let on the first few days. Occasionally she pulls words out that are remarkable! I am totally in awe! It has been a great foundation to build on.

Running Away: I am happy to report that was a totally irrational fear. Of course with this spirited child, I am sure later in life she will pack her bags like we all do with the intent on leaving because she will be unhappy about a decision I have made. But it is my hope that she will always find that all roads lead her back home to me!