Doing CHRISTmas a little bit better...

Every year I promise myself that THIS Christmas season will be different. That I will be less frantic and more focused on enjoying the season and the reason for the season. And yet, this year, as in years past. I feel like I fell so short of that mark.

Our December was busy with piano recitals, Christmas parties (classroom, church, dance, family, etc.), family gatherings along with dodging snowstorms, regular homework and daily chores that had to be done.

I did all of my shopping on line this year, so that helped, but as the end of the year approaches, I see that I did indeed finish the season just as frantic as I did last year...actually more so.

However at the end of the day, Jacinda declared it the best Christmas ever, so I guess I will take that as a stamp of approval and just try to apply some lessons learned to next year.

You see what is important to me is that Jacinda understand the true meaning of the season and I think she does. She gets that Jesus was born and I know she is really close to making a decision to truly accept Him as her Savior. As someone who has spent most of my adult life in children's ministry in one form or another...some people may think it strange that she hasn't already done that. And while we have had the discussions about this life-changing choice...I want to make sure she truly UNDERSTANDS what is involved and isn't just following along blindly because it is something she feels I want her to do or because the other kids in her class at church have done it. I am OK with her questioning it, because I did and while my questions at times irritated my Sunday School teachers and left some leaders in my church shaking their heads at my insistence on answers, I know God never was angry or irritated with me for asking those questions. My questions gave Him room to work and make Himself real to me in a way that I now know why it is I believe what I believe.

What is most important to me as a believer has nothing to do with religion, that's where we get into trouble and I think that is where we lose our kids. I want Jacinda to have a relationship with Jesus and to see my own relationship with the Lord in practice. I want her to understand that choosing to be a Christian isn't always an easy choice, but it is a worthwhile one. I want God to be real to her and for her to understand that SHE was made for a purpose. I want her to know, feel, believe and live like she has something to do in her life that no one else but her can do. Because I believe that if as a young child, she can begin to live her life like that, then nothing will stand in her way. But most of all when she makes her public confession, gets baptized, etc. I want it to be more than a momentary, ceremonial rite of passage. I want it to be a life-changing, life-molding event that will forever affect who she is and the choices she makes. And I am praying that the Lord will make me a mother who does CHRISTmas a little better throughout the year and inspires her to make that decision in 2011.

Christmas Memories 2010

There are still moments that stop us in our tracks

After a year and a half with Jacinda, there are still moments that blow me away in terms of how different her life is now and how different my life is now.
There are still moments when in the middle of a workday as I sit typing away at my computer that I am brought to tears because I just miss my little girl.
There are times when I am cleaning out my inbox that I will stumble on an e-mail that was either written or received during our wait time. I will read them and then instantly be transported back to a time that wasn't so joyous.
There are times when the tween that stands in front of me almost defiant with her hand on her hip, can instantly become the little girl who wants to please me more than anything in the world.
There are times when I see her stop in her tracks when she sees a familiar face of one of her friends from the care center in Ethiopia appear on their parents' facebook page as I log in.
There are moments when I watch quietly from the doorway as I see her put on some Ethiopian music and teach her little cousin to dance to it.
There are moments when I see her sit in quiet thought reflecting on how much she has lost in her short life and how no matter how much she gains, that can never be replaced.
But there is nothing I wouldn't trade for a million more moments with this precious girl!

Another anniversary

Two years ago, I was sitting in a brainstorming meeting at work when an e-mail from my agency rep popped up on the screen. It was THE E-MAIL...finally! I had heard snippets about a rumored 5-year-old, but finally it was official.
Due to some computer glitches on my agency's part, a picture wasn't attached and I had to frantically go searching through the on-line repository of some recent traveler's photos. But then I saw her.
I so vividly remember staring at this photo for hours...I remember those first moments that were so scary for me...moments of waiting to say yes. Moments of asking this little face thousands of miles away if she was indeed MY daughter. And then the equally breathtaking moment, when I sent the e-mail that simply said: "I say yes. What are my next steps?"

I've never really spent a lot of time looking at that referral photo since Jacinda came home...but I have spent some time doing just that in the last day or so and it is amazing to me. This photo is definitely Bizunesh...she was described in every e-mail and from everyone who ever met her before I did as "shy, quiet, reserved." Looking at this photo...I see that. But there is a glimmer in those eyes that I watched come alive in every photo and one that I am greeted with every morning.

I am so eternally grateful for Nov. 14, 2008 - that day was the first of many that changed EVERYTHING for me!

Get ready!

I have a ton of posts I have started in the past two months...oh and by golly I am going to finish them...so watch out. Roots and Wings is going to be seeing some action!

Finally...a discipline technique that works (for us)!!!

Originally began on Sept. 23



OK I have to admit that this one makes me laugh out loud...and reminds me that no matter how old I get, I should listen to my mom!
Throughout the past 16 months I have often struggled to find a discipline technique that was effective for Jacinda. I have tried taking privileges away, adding punishments, verbal warnings, etc. And these have all worked for a while...and then they lose their ooph!
It was very frustrating for me to want to use this as a deterrent or teaching tool and realize Jacinda was not at all phased.
I had countless conversations with my mom about this very subject and then one day mom suggested that I hit my fashionista where it hurts and make her wear her outfit two days in a row.
For a child that adores being stylish and constantly complimented on her clothing, Jacinda was completely appalled when I described that was going to happen the next time she had a serious behavior issue.
So, a few days later when Jacinda had a behavior episode that left me aghast and at a loss, I suddenly remembered what my mom had suggested. I calmly and almost sweetly explained to Jacinda that her behavior was inappropriate, that she had not heeded my warnings on multiple occasions, so as a result she was going to be wearing the same outfit to third grade the next day.
She was appalled! But she got it.
Her head was hanging low the next morning as she traipsed into the third grade. That night she was apologetic and made a promise not to let it happen again.


P.S. More than a month later and yep, it's still working. EUREKA!

Missing Maryland

Originally started Sept. 7, 2010

This week I am in Maryland for work. Jacinda is home. Grammy is camping out at our house to ease the routine of things. And for the first time in a long time I am allowing myself to say out loud that...I MISS MARYLAND SO MUCH!!!

Several of my family members have asked me if I regret moving back to West Virginia and the answer is no, it was what was best for Jacinda and for me. I can't imagine being three hours away from my mom during the last year.

But I miss so many things about Maryland. I miss my church. I miss my church family. I miss the kids that used to be in my classes. They are growing up and I don't get to see that. I hate that they feel they lost the ability to chat with me about their every day struggles and problems. I hate that I wonder who is giving them advice and if the advice is good, valid or realistic. I hate to think of them discouraged and I hate to think of them forgetting me.

I miss lunching with my co-workers, my girlfriends and just spending the evening catching up at each other's houses. I miss the vast amount of cultural choices that were ripe for the picking. On any given weekend, you can have your choice of the arts and that was something I often took for granted.


I know I am not the only one who misses Maryland. Jacinda tells me quite frequently that she misses being there. For someone who only spent three months there, I am not sure what made the biggest impression, but I know that given the chance she says she would move back in a heartbeat and as for the folks she would leave behind in WV - she says she would send pictures. Sometimes she is such a charming kid. LOL!

And yet on the days when I begin to second guess my choice, I look around at our life now and think how rich it is with family. I remember those times in Maryland when I missed family gatherings, celebrations or just quiet times together. I longed to be part of it and now I am.
I also remember the early years in Maryland when I wasn't quite so content. It was lonely, it was hard and sometimes I second guessed my move. So if experience is the best teacher, I am thinking that in a year or so from now...I will be in a place where I wouldn't trade my life in WV for anything in the world!

The other 5 percent

Recently as I have been stalking other adoption blogs I have seen comments from other writers that other adoption blogs make it seem like everything is so happy and shiny and perfect.
And while it is true that most of the time I share positive moments with my daughter...ours is a life that is far from perfect.
My daughter is a beautiful, charming and intelligent young lady. She loves me. She loves the rest of her family. And she really knows how to enjoy life...95 percent of the time.
The other 5 percent, she becomes a defiant, sullen child, who seems incapable of making good choices. She pouts. She glares. She ruins perfectly good days with really bad choices.
Take last week for instance. The first week of school was a struggle. Jacinda seemed incapable of following simple instructions, she fought me over homework, lied about several things and was in general a real smart alec.
Last week, she pushed me to the brink. I took special privileges away, made her rinse her mouth with Listerine for lying and sent her to bed early on more than one occasion...but nothing seemed to help. She pushed my buttons consistently and constantly for a week and at every turn I was pretty good about not letting her get to me and diffusing the situation.
But then there was Saturday. The day started off peaceful and pleasant. And then mere minutes before we were supposed to leave for a big family event, things went south. And sadly, Jacinda finally pushed the button that lit my fuse.
Things got ugly - fast! It felt like it lasted forever when in reality it was only about 10 minutes. But it was like a slap in the face. Another reminder that we aren't "there" yet. And if the truth be told..."there" isn't even our real destination.
Helpful friends try to tell me she's just a kid being a kid. And I get where they are coming from. I used to try to explain there is a difference, but after a year of explanations...I have realized they are never going to understand and they don't have to. They aren't a mother of an internationally adopted child.
I also get Jacinda is not like other kids...she never will be and she doesn't have to be. She has so much still locked inside her, that even a year later, she is not able to share. She still mourns and she still aches for the life she doesn't believe it is OK to miss.
And sometimes I am just a mom struggling to make the best decisions and to focus on all of the good that has happened since we met that day last May.
So the next time I post about how proud I am of my daughter and how in love I am with her and how I can't imagine my life without her, please don't think I paint too rosy of a picture. I am just a new mom learning every day that despite the bumps in our road, we have much to celebrate!

A Tall Order

As requested by my BFF I am re-posting this and hope YOU will do the same!

Okay, so, I am putting this out there hoping that all of you out there with blogs will copy and paste it and those that read will do the same...until someone, somewhere reading realizes it is about THEIR children.
I am not kidding myself it is a tall order indeed. But I have to believe there is a family out there for 5 awesome kids who are currently living at Miskaye. Yep, that's right there are 5 of them...two girls (13 and 5) and three boys (10, 6 and 16 months). Oh, and the oldest is HIV+. Tall order, I know. I can't say much about their story in this public forum, nor can I show you pictures of how beautiful they all are. But, I can tell you that these brothers and sisters have been through a lot together and they love each other.
The bottom line is that they want to stay together. We are working hard to make sure they can. At Miskaye, they are safe and well fed. They go to school and they get the medical care they need. The staff loves them. But, still, they NEED a family. They need a family that will take them all.
A few organizations including Ethio-American Family Services are working together to get these kids what they need. There has been a recent donation to help defray the adoption costs...lots of people are stepping up to help these kids get a family.You can find out more via this link. Please repost. Or, if you are that very special family...:)

Summer Snippets (i.e. how we spent our summer vacation)

Staying up Late: Just before school was out, Jacinda declared that there wouldn't be any need for early bedtimes "Because it was summer." It was funny because for whatever reason...I didn't disagree with her. While her plans to "not sleep at all" made me giggle and never came to fruition. She did have a great time staying up late and just being with me. And as a night-owl, it was nice to have some company!

Swimming, Swimming, Swimming: For the first time in three years my parents re-opened their pool. Needless to say we spent many, many hours in the pool. There were at least it was a couple of nights that I let Jacinda swim until almost 11 p.m. She turned into quite a little fish and I loved watching her face as she conquered new feats!

Getting away from it all: We took a vacation with our good friends in June and escaped to Hershey Park. It was incredibly hot, but Jacinda had a blast. She tackled the roller coasters like a pro. I loved how she would hold on tight and close her eyes and yet be breathless with excitement and all smiles when the ride ended! We also went on a little Mommy and Me Getaway that was a lot of fun. We were only about an hour away, but we spent some time with each other and away from the everyday routine for a weekend. And finally I took Jacinda back to Maryland with me so I could work there a few days. She got to see all her Maryland friends and go to work with me. She power-lunched with my co-workers and even met my company's dress code. She told me she thought my job was boring, but liked that people ask me a lot of questions and that I always answer...now if only I had all the answers.

Reading & Studying: Jacinda read a total of 294 books this summer and has improved her skills in ways I could never have imagined. I love that she is developing a love of reading. And maybe that is because I too remember spending hours reading over the summer. I love that her imagination has been sparked and she is starting to create works on her own now. I never want to forget something that happened right before school started. Jacinda's school has a reading challenge that she has been taking part in. Well the day before school started, I pointed to a pile of books and told her that was her last day to read. I meant to read books that would be counted for the challenge. However, my child took me literally and never stopped reading all day long. She even made her Grammy take her to the library to get some more books when she ran out of reading material that day. Jacinda was relieved to learn that she did not have to give up reading just because school was starting.

Soccer Camp: Jacinda went to two soccer camps this summer. What is interesting about this is that last year at this time, I tried to get her to sign up for soccer and she refused. Yet this spring she started playing for a rec league. She held her own, but really didn't understand the game. I thought that a soccer camp would be fun for her. The first one was OK. I didn't love it. But she had a great time. And then a guy at work suggested an evening soccer camp and I signed her up for that one too. That camp changed her outlook on soccer. She walked away with a real love for the game and as a mom it is great to see the look on her face as she is playing.

Vacation Bible School: Jacinda attended three different Bible schools this summer. And loved every minute of it. I love that church is fun for her and that she is receiving the most important Word of her life there. There's so much to say on this subject that I am going to save it for another post.

When all is said and done, I know we will look back on the Summer of 2010 with fond, fond memories!

The Tall and the Short of It

I am beginning to become annoyed at the fixation people around Jacinda and I seem to have on her age and on her development.
You see I grew up as an overweight child and had self-image issues for a long time. And while most of them I have come to terms with and I no longer measure my worth or my successes by the size of my pants or the number on the scale. I gave that up several years ago. And I made a promise to myself that unlike many other people I know that I will not pass these issues on to my child. And that hasn't been hard to stick to. The hardest part has been trying to get other people not to "give her a complex."
Jacinda is tall. Jacinda is probably older than her birth certificate says. She photographs like a teen. She acts in a mature fashion. She is developing into a young lady.
When I used to get photos of her during my waiting...some people referred to her as "regal."
And even when they told me she was 5, she looked much older.
I had a wrist scan done, talked to many "in-the-know" people...doctors, educators, lawyers and I made the decision to age her from the fictitious 5 to a more realistic 7.
Now as she is approaching 9 - the unwelcome and unsolicited comments are irritating the bejeepers out of me. I wouldn't care if Jacinda was 17 right now...I love this kid and she is mine. She could be 9-foot tall and she would still be my baby.
But the comments are starting to wear on her. And there is absolutely no reason for it.
Everywhere we go people make comments about her height. They ask how old she is and when I say 8 almost 9 - this almost always follows..."Boy she is tall for her age. She looks a lot older too." I am serious complete strangers walk up to us and make these comments. There are times at restaurants we have to practically beg for a children's menu. We can be out to dinner with people with other kids and the server will bring every other child at the table a drink in a "kid's cup" and yet bring Jacinda an adult portion.
Now let me just point out it isn't as if she is 6 foot tall right now, heck she isn't even 5 foot tall.
But just by the tone of the comments she hears, Jacinda has decided being tall is a bad thing. She is starting to slouch. She gets irritated at the comments and so do I!
But the moment that broke my heart last week was when we were having a mommy-daughter discussion about growing up. She looked up with tears in her eyes and told me that soon people weren't going to let her be my "little girl" because she was growing up and was too tall.
I informed her that she is my "little girl." Because at 8 or 9 or even 13, she still needs someone to take care of her.
So I am going to make an effort to squelch these comments and kindly inform people her height and age is no longer a topic of discussion. I am surprised that people, especially adults...don't stop and realize that there is a little set of ears listening when they are critiquing her appearance.
So the tall and the short of it is...the topic is closed for discussion!

40 Things to Do Before I am 40 - Update 3!

So I have a little less than seven months to tick the remaining things off the To-Do List. And since this is my list...I reserve the rights to make some adjustments and amendments to the original list and that's exactly what I am planning to do. I think the sign of a wise woman is knowing when it is time to regroup and re-evaluate, instead of just giving up. And since this is my own personal journey...I can do whatever I want to do! So here's the amended list. You'll see the old goal in red in parentheses.
40 THINGS TO DO BEFORE I'M 40
Activities
1. Take Jacinda Camping (Still planning for this one)
2. Go away for a Girls weekend with my friends Sherry and Nikki (Update: We were actually supposed to go away this weekend, but time got away from us - we'll try again soon)
3. Take Jacinda on a tour of the Tygart Dam
4. Get some friends together and go Christmas Caroling
5. Have a yard sale (I've really lost the desire for this one, it may be re-evaluated next update...stay tuned)
6. Enter a contest
7. Take a fall driving tour to go leaf peaking
8. Fly a kite - Well I bought a kite, so I think that counts as a step toward the goal of course I couldn't tell you where it was at this moment. LOL!
9. Discover/Experience four new places/events in WV
10. Try Letterboxing

Reading
11. Read the Bible in chronological order (Shameful I know!)
12. Read at least 6 of the parenting/adoption books sitting on my book shelf
13. Read more in front of and to Jacinda (at least two times a week) YES!
14. Read at least 6 books for pleasure – Don’t think I have picked this one up since last month…

Artistically speaking
15. Take an Art class/workshop (I am very excited about this one!)
16. Attend at least 6 live theater performances (3 down and 3 to go!!!!)
17. Attend at least 3 concerts
18. Blog at least 5 (10) times a month

In the Kitchen
19. Try 24 mew recipes (two new recipes a month) - Same number, just takes the pressure off in the summer months.
20. Organize my spices into some kind of usable system
21. Come up with a new storage system for my canned goods. (Done, now I just have to implement it)
22. Come up with a cost-effective, creative solution for a simple/striking counter top/back splash Better Home & Garden
23. Plant some flowers (DONE! And they are even still alive!)
24. Create the playroom (Working on it and very excited about all the new stuff for it!)
25. Fix that pesky leak (Would you believe the leak, fixed itself!)
26. Get bathroom lights, towel rack, etc. up
27. Add more lighting 28. Get the garage organized
29. Replace central air - sometimes you have to make lemonade out of lemons! (Add French doors and a patio, maybe next year)
30. Design my dream bathroom and dressing room for when the time comes

Personal Growth & Development
31. Be a better mom
32. Become a better daughter
33. Nurture my friends more

Health and Fitness
34. Lose 40 pounds – (8 pounds are gone - woo-hoo!)
35. Learn to love some form of exercise (I should just swim all year round)
36. Eat no processed foods for one week (month) - I would rather do this one week than skip it totally!

Ethiopian Experiences
37. Attend the Ethiopian Adoption Group meetings in Pittsburgh a few times
38. Expand my Amharic skills – add 40 new words to my repertoire (I'm about 1/4 of the way there!)
39. Do a fundraiser/drive for the children at Miskaye (Done we raised a little over $500 at Jacinda's Gotcha Day Celebration.)
40. And Last and by no means least…BEGIN PAPERCHASING FOR LITTLE ? - decided to change first name. Not sure why this second adoption is so much harder to begin...

Well until our next update...WISH ME LUCK!

Weekly Reader - 170 books and counting!

Education is a big topic at our home. I will always be thankful to my parents for providing me with educational opportunities they never had. My dad didn't graduate from high school and my mom only made it through one semester of college. But they always encouraged my educational endeavors even when it meant that I had chosen a private and costly liberal arts college.
And because of their support and lack of opportunities, I have always been very appreciative and treasured my own education...because I know first-hand not everyone has had the opportunities I have.
I love education and were it not for a nasty fifth-grade teacher, I probably would BE an educator. That being said, my focus on Jacinda's education has been deliberate and yes, at times intense.
We talk about school a lot. I make it clear that she has a responsibility to think things through and to think for herself and not expect people to coddle her. I openly explain that school for a little while will be harder for her and for the next few years she is going to have to work hard to succeed. I explain that things being hard is not a bad thing or something to be avoided, but it is a challenge she can overcome. I tell her that she is smart, that she has come so far and that I am so proud of her.
Although some days I get frustrated when she seemingly forgets a concept she has been repeating for six months. But those frustrations are coming farther and farther apart.
My dad was worried in the beginning that by pushing Jacinda I was going to make her dislike school. But even from the photos I received during my waiting showed that Jacinda was happiest in her "school-like" setting and that she loved to learn.
She has turned out to be a total sponge and has been reading up a storm this summer. We have been keeping track of her books since school let out in mid-June. I keep a running list for the school's summer reading challenge. Today when I finally caught up on a week of books, I was shocked and thrilled that my little reader is quickly approaching the 200 book mark.
This prompted me to look back about a year ago and see how far Jacinda has come. From knowing 22 sight words in July 2009 to reading nonstop in July 2010. From conquering words like paper towels and salt and pepper a year ago to being the charming princess who loves to chat with people and is quite fluent. All I can say is WOW!
Looks like I better make plans for a 200-book celebration, because my baby deserves it!

World's Worst Blogger

I am a little surprised at what a bad blogger I have been. It really doesn't seem like it has been more than a month since I last posted, but the dates don't lie.

I am behind on updating my 40 Things to Do before I turn 40 series...blogging about our vacation, VBS, the summer in general and all things Jacinda. I am going to try to be better...but in between soaking up every moment of summer and trying to study for the PMP exam, I am not making any promises!

Until then, let me leave you one of my favorite summer photos of Miss Jacinda!

Last Day of School

Today is Jacinda's last day of school. People keep asking her if she is excited, but adamantly tells them no. To be honest, she didn't realize until about two weeks ago that there even was a summer vacation. What can I say? My girl loves school!
This morning as she got ready and we headed out the door. I looked behind me to see her standing in the spot where I took her first day of school picture last August. And it hit me how much she has changed during the last 170-ish days.
Jacinda has grown physically, emotionally and intellectually.
I sent her to school as a child who could barely recognize 15 sight words...she is now reading almost anything she can get her hands on.
I sent her to school as a child who could barely count to 100...she now counts by 2's, 5's 10s. etc. and can do it forward and backwards.
I sent her to school as a quiet, shy girl, who had never stepped foot into a school...she now emanates confidence and poise.
I sent her to school four years behind her peers ...and tonight she will come home less than one year behind in all subjects.
Jacinda has had so many successes this year...ones we couldn't have achieved without her awesome teaching team! She took thank you cards and little gifts to all of them today.
Now we enter a new season and I can't wait to celebrate our summer together!

Memorial Day 2010

My hometown celebrates Memorial Day in a big way. Within our town we have two National Cemeteries. Each year the city has a parade and in addition to floats, bands and politicians, we have a tradition where the school children march in the parade carrying an American flag and a bouquet of flowers that are then taken to the cemetery and placed on a soldier's grave.

I made an appearance in the parade all 12 years of my schooling and even won an essay contest for the parade my senior year. (I still have the savings bond prize!)

Last year Jacinda and I went to the parade. She had been in America for a total of two days. I was a little leery about taking her to the parade, but she LOVED it. Well with our relocation to my hometown...Jacinda was a willing participant in the parade.

Throughout the week I tried to explain the significance of the parade and while I am not sure she completely "gets it" yet, I know someday she will.

And I have to say I was one proud momma watching her continue the tradition...

Gotcha Day Celebration 2010

I know some people don't like the use of Gotcha Day, but in this case and so many others I've considered over the past 12 months...we've chosen to use it and for us it is the right decision. That being said, we had an amazing celebration with more than 70 people in attendance for the American themed day. Everyone from aunts and uncles to piano teachers and the mayor of our town were in attendance. Jacinda's teaching team and many close friends from our first year were there to share in our joy.

We made the decision in lieu of gifts to ask people to honor our one year as a family with a donation to Miskaye Children's Home in Addis. This is an endeavor of my BFF Aimee and one of the causes I hold near and dear to my heart. Jacinda decorated some collection bins and placed them out at the party. Through the generosity of our friends and family, we are going to be donating just over $500 to Miskaye. Thank you so much to all of you who helped make a difference. I was moved to tears and can't express how much it means to have such generous people sharing in our passion!

Aside from the donations, we spent the day viewing Jacinda's video and fellowshipping. We had a candle lighting ceremony where Jacinda lit a candle for her Ethiopian mommy and one for her Ethiopian daddy and then I took those candles and lit one in the center for her. I presented her with the four dolls I bought for her in Addis last year and then we finished the day with a huge candy toss for the kids.

It was a wonderful, wonderful way to commemorate 365 days of breathtaking memories! I am such a blessed woman!

One year ago

One year ago we landed at Dulles and made the trek to WV, so Jacinda could meet the family. I remember making plans for our return trip was a point of concern for me. I had read that many people offered words of wisdom to downplay the arrival and keep it to just close family...some even recommended noone, but the child's adoptive parents/siblings for a couple of weeks. I read the advice and even considered it, but it just didn't seem to fit. So I chucked the advice and followed my own instincts and made my own plans for a return home...and it couldn't have been better!

Our dear friends Kim & Whitney picked us up from the airport and we headed to a hotel near my parents home in WV. When we arrived, my mom, dad, brother, sister--in-law and niece were all there. We had some introductions, hugs and kisses and lots of SMILES! Then other close friends and relatives started arriving. It was a wonderful homecoming and I will always cherish that moment in time.

Looking back a year later...I couldn't have known then that these people she met in that hotel lobby would be the ones surrounding and supporting our family daily. That in a few mere months WV would be OUR home too. I just knew that I wanted Jacinda to know that she was part of something bigger than a single-parent family. That she was going to be loved by tons of aunts, uncles and cousins and many other very special people. And a year later as I listen to her describe her family to people...she talks about having too many cousins to count and lots of aunts and uncles and will even argue that she has the biggest family...I think she gets it!

One year ago today...

My first morning wake-up as a mother went something like this:

(Setting: Addis Ababa, Ehtiopia - YEKA GUEST HOUSE)

The scene opens with me sleeping peacefully.

AIMEE: Dude. (pause) Vern. (pause) Diann. (pause...as I slowly stir.)

ME: (in annoyance, still not opening my eyes) What?!?

AIMEE: Dude, I think your kid has to pee.

ME: (Eyes flying open!) "I have a kid?!?"

I opened my eyes to see Bizunesh sitting on the edge of her bed looking at me expectantly. I got up and gently guided her the three feet to the bathroom. Thus began the routine of at least month of her asking to go or waiting until I asked her if she had to go to the bathroom.

I thought of this moment today as we were getting ready for the day. I yelled TIME CHECK as is the habit, while I am doing my hair and she runs into the living room and checks the time on her way to grab the breakfast I have laid out for her in the kitchen. "It's 7:25," she yells back. "Is today gym day?" "Can I wear flip flops to school, Mom?" "Do I have to wear a jacket." "Did you sign my spelling word study sheet?" "Am I going to soccer or dance tonight?" The questions just tumble out of the same sweet girl who one year ago today couldn't yet communicate with me and simply patiently waited for me to tell her it was OK to go to the bathroom.

One year ago today...my world changed

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

One year ago today

One year ago today I had landed in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. My best friend Aimee was by my side. It was the night before I was to meet my sweet Bizunesh. I remember being weirded out about how unreal it all felt. How the fact that we had just made an almost 20 hour plane ride and Aimee had already had her first precautionary dose of Cipro...didn't feel strange in the least.

I remember breathing in the sweet smell of Ethiopia and being in awe of the graciousness of the people at the guest house. I remember carefully placing the chosen outfits for Bizunesh on a shelf, laying out her activities and double checking that I had all my paperwork in order.

I remember thinking to myself...this will be the last night of this phase of my life and I remember being so incredibly content.

The week of "One year ago" begins

One year ago today I was making my way to a hotel in Virginia...armed with a suitcase full of flip flops, toothbrushes, toothpaste and other donations. In the other suitcase was clothes for a little princess I had yet to meet. One that would steal my heart away. WOW! That was one year ago today!

The grass is greener

I used to think I wanted to have a well-manicured lawn that would be the envy of all my neighbors, but this is sooooooo much better!!!!!

Real Mothers

As I sat and listened to the little poem the lady at the front of the church was reading yesterday, I heard these words about "real mothers."

Real Mothers don't eat quiche; they don't have time to make it.

Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils are probably in the sandbox.

Real Mothers often have sticky floors, filthy ovens and happy kids.

Real Mothers know that dried playdough doesn't come out of shag carpet.

Real Mothers sometimes ask "why me?" and get their answer when a little voice says, "because I love you best."

Real Mothers know that a child's growth is not measured by height or years or grade...It is marked by the progression of Mama to Mommy to Mother.

This is a cute little poem and I have to admit I chuckled at how many items on the list I have experienced in the last year. But it also made me think of a recent conversation where someone told me that I wasn't a "Real Mother" because I only had one child. I was taken aback by the comment...I have to admit it stung a little bit. But what stings the most for me is that we, as women, as mothers, as other mothers, as friends, as coworkers, as other females continue to look at motherhood as a competition of some sort.

Think how powerful we would be and what a better world it would be for our children if we looked at ourselves as a community of mothers. Some of us come into motherhood through birth, some of us adopt...neither is a better choice. It just is. Some of us stay at home and others have outside employment...neither is a life of leisure. It just is. Some of us have one child and others parent many siblings....but we are all mothers.

I admit I was embarrassed that this woman's (who is an amazing lady, by the way) comments "got" to me. I should be above this. I shouldn't care...but as a newcomer to this motherhood sorority and one that stood on the outside looking in for so many years, I had an idealized vision of what being a mother was going to be like. Sometimes it is far different. I have even found myself passing judgements about other mothers. I have made unkind comments about their skills from what I consider to be too late bedtimes and inappropriate food choices to what appears to be a lack of discipline. But today on Mother's Day I am reminded that I am no mother's judge. In the end aren't we all just trying to do the best for our children? I am hoping that by doing that we will someday find a way to support each other a little more along the way.

Be still my heart...

Jacinda's bedtime Mother's Day prayer

Dear Jesus,
Thank you for today. Thank you for Mother's Day. And thank you very much for sending my mommy to me.
In Jesus' name...Amen.

My prayer added to it...

Thank you Jesus for this beautiful child who lost her first mommy to illness when she was much too young to have to experience the pain of that loss. Lord, heal her heart from that loss and let her remember even more about the mother that gave her life and taught her to love.
And Lord, I am hoping that this beautiful woman is there with you now and if she is...can you please let her know how very thankful I am for this amazing gift I have been given. Tell her that we will all meet in heaven someday, that Bizunesh will remember her and that we love her.
In Jesus' name....Amen.

OLIVIA MAME IS FINALLY COMING HOME

Jacinda made many friends in Ethiopia during her time at Hope. But there were a few girls who really stood out, one of them was a darling girl named Mame. I first learned of Mame in February 2008 when I had first started my process and saw where a woman named Sandee had accepted her referral. It gave me hope that my wait wouldn't be long.

But Mame's process was to be a long, heart breaking journey of failed court cases, missing paperwork and a little girl who was growing up in photos as a mother longed to hold her in her arms. Even my drawn-out process moved at lightning speed compared to hers!

When I visited Ethiopia I was able to meet Mame. Sweet Mame, who made sure one of the caretakers dictated a note that I was privileged enough to bring back to her momma. Mame, who took Jacinda Bizunesh under her wing and showed her love and kindness when Jacinda was sooo scared. Mame ate Bizunesh's eggs (my girl despise's them) and made sure her hair looked nice.

Well today the journey of more than 2 years enters another phase because this little mommy-like angel has a new mommy of her own!

Congratuations Sandee (Visit her blog!) and hurry home Olivia Mame! So many people have been praying for you!

I can't wait to tell Jacinda the news!

40 Things to Do Before I am 40 - Update 2!

Two months in and I realize I have been slacking! Really slacking and I need to get motivated! So hopefully this “bad” month will be a wake up call and not the beginning to the downfall of my list. Actually, there is no “hopefully” about it. I am going to pick myself up by my bootstraps and carry on! How’s that for a pep talk???
So here it goes!

40 THINGS TO DO BEFORE I'M 40
Activities
1. Take Jacinda Camping
2. Go away for a Girls weekend with my friends Sherry and Nikki (Update: Still making plans for this one)
3. Take Jacinda on a tour of the Tygart Dam
4. Get some friends together and go Christmas Caroling
5. Have a yard sale (Update, I did find out that there is a community wide yard sale in June, so I am making plans to participate)
6. Enter a contest
7. Take a fall driving tour to go leaf peaking
8. Fly a kite - Well I bought a kite, so I think that counts as a step toward the goal.
9. Discover/Experience four new places/events in WV
10. Try Letterboxing

Reading
11. Read the Bible in chronological order
12. Read at least 6 of the parenting/adoption books sitting on my book shelf
13. Read more in front of and to Jacinda (at least two times a week)
14. Read at least 6 books for pleasure – Don’t think I have picked this one up since last month…

Artistically speaking
15. Take an Art class/workshop
16. Attend at least 6 live theater performances
17. Attend at least 3 concerts
18. Blog at least 10 times a month (I know a stretch for me!) – Ooops! Missed the mark on this one, maybe I should go for an average. LOL!

In the Kitchen
19. Try two new recipes a month - Tried two new recipes...Maple Ham made in the crockpot (VERY, VERY GOOD!) and a Pizza Fondue (Didn’t really care for that one)
20. Organize my spices into some kind of usable system
21. Come up with a new storage system for my canned goods. (Purchased the shelf and have started to move the products. I am event thinking about turning part of the laundry room into a pantry)
22. Come up with a cost-effective, creative solution for a simple/striking counter top/back splash

Better Home & Garden
23. Plant some flowers
24. Create the playroom
25. Fix that pesky leak
26. Get bathroom lights, towel rack, etc. up
27. Add more lighting
28. Get the garage organized
29. Add French doors and a patio
30. Design my dream bathroom and dressing room for when the time comes

Personal Growth & Development
31. Be a better mom
32. Become a better daughter
33. Nurture my friends more

Health and Fitness
34. Lose 40 pounds – (should it be more? Of course, but this is a great place to start)
35. Learn to love some form of exercise (This is by far the hardest one on the list)
36. Eat no processed foods for one month out of the year

Ethiopian Experiences
37. Start attending the Ethiopian Adoption Group meetings in Pittsburgh
38. Expand my Amharic skills – add 40 new words to my repertoire (oops! Of course in my defense, my dear daughter informed me that she never even started speaking Amharic until she came to Hope’s place – so that adds a whole new spin on the mystery)
39. Do a fundraiser/drive for the children at Miskaye
40. And Last and by no means least…BEGIN PAPERCHASING FOR LITTLE J!!! (Was really in a holding pattern this month)

Well I better kick it into gear for next month...that's all I can say!

Going Away

I have been preparing Jacinda for a while now that I was going to be out of town for "school" (very important job-related training). She seemed fine with it until the day before I had to leave.
Her behavior was horrible and I was irritable because of everything that had to be done. It was not a conducive environment to a picture-perfect mother/daughter relationship. But once we both got our acts together and honestly talked about the fact we were sad that we had to be apart...things improved dramatically.
Once I put her to bed that evening...my little elf work began. I was determined to make sure my absence was tolerable for her and for my family members who would be filling in for me as chief caretaker. I carefully made little snack bags for all five school days complete with little stickers and little notes written for each day. I painstakingly picked out school and sports outfits from underwear to hair accessories. I lined up who was taking her to piano, dance, soccer and school. I set out five cups and packets of Carnation Instant Breakfast, so there would be no manipulating Grammy into letting her eat powdered donuts for breakfast. I picked out five Soup at Hands which added a vegetable to her diet in a very sneaky way and most of all I told her repeatedly how very much I was going to miss her.
Plans were all made and we were both prepared to be apart. However, one and a half days into my training, the instructor suffered a tragic family loss and the class was cancelled. So I headed home to my girl.
She thanked me a dozen times for coming home early. And the sweetest surprise for me was that for every one of my little notes I tucked into her snack bags, she had written one back to me. Just another sweet mommy moment I am going to cherish for the rest of my life!

Dancing through life

She lacks confidence...so WHAT?!?!

I am going through a rough patch right now. I know there 10 million people who have it worse than I do, but right now I am irritated, I am a little defeated and I am saddened. And it has nothing to do with my little princess...

You see in my past life...one I don't like to remember or dwell on too often, I was a girl, teen and yes, young woman who had almost no confidence in myself. I wallowed in my own self-pity, self-loathing and self-centeredness. I was dramatic. I was pathetic. I surrounded myself with enablers and looking back I make myself sick.

About a 15 years ago - my shaky foundation was kicked out from under me and that forced me to re-evaluate my life. It was the BEST thing that could have ever happened to me. At that moment I recognized I could either continue to wallow and recreate my "all-fluff-and-no-substance" existence or I could finally begin living. I chose the latter and some miraculous things happened. One of which was I discovered the real ME and I figured out early on...I LOVED who I am!

While that and almost everything that has followed has been so very fulfilling, there is another result. I am very intolerant of insecure women. To the point where they are a pet peeve of mind. Not the little self-doubts that we all have that attack us here or there, or the little areas of "could I be better" that we sometimes entertain. Nope, those are normal and keep us all real. I am talking about the "woe-is-me" females that are constantly looking for reassurance, acceptance or accolades from men, their children, their friends or society as a whole. The ones because of lack in their own lives like to make comparisons, spread rumors and take jabs at others.

Recently I became the target of this unwanted attack. And on more than one occasion, I have been lied to, lied about and intentionally misled by someone who is living my former life. And while I know I should want to take her under my wing and let her know that celebrating who she is...is so much more fulfilling than walking around like a child who is afraid their playmate is trying to take their toys, I just haven't been able to. I am embarrassed to say that I honestly don't want to be around her and every time someone coddles her to her face and then explains to me behind her back that she just lacks confidence, I want to shout....SO WHAT?!?!

I hate that I have allowed myself to be hurt through this. I should know better. I should have seen this coming...but I didn't. However the real issue is that these feelings are becoming a stumbling block in my Christian walk. I want to see her the way Jesus sees her. But I guess I am struggling to do that. My old self wants to slam a door and run out of a room to see if anyone comes running after me like I did in the old days...but the confident woman I have become is fighting to the surface to overcome this. Maybe actually sharing the struggle that is taking place in my head and heart will be the first step to just walking away with my head held high knowing that I did what I was supposed to do and somehow escaped getting pulled back into the drama.

And I made a I am tired of being lied to, lied about and intentionally misled.

Today

Today, April 7, marks the beginning of so many "one-year-ago" moments. See one year ago today...I passed court! I know it is a cliche, but in some ways it seems like it was yesterday and in others it seems like Jacinda has been with me her whole life.

One year ago at 7:17 a.m. I got an e-mail stating that our case had been approved! Today I took a few minutes and read over some of my e-mails from that day... I used phrases like "I am Jello," "I am in awe and so completely over the moon," "It's a surreal feeling."

A year later and the majority of time all I can think of when I look at Jacinda Hope Bizunesh is how incredibly blessed I am. Things aren't perfect, but they are good...really good. Jacinda is a loving young lady. She is empathetic and caring. She has an amazing sense of humor, a flair for the dramatic and a smile that lights up a room.

A year ago she was a dream, a photo, a little girl a world away. Today she is my reality, my joy and my world!

Sometimes you just have to laugh

Last night when I arrived home from work, I was greeted with the typical excited exclamation..."Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" But when I tried to pick her up as our normal evening greeting routine dictates, Jacinda stopped me.
"Mom, I am too heavy for you tonight," she said sticking her stomach way out. "I have too many sugars in my belly."
Guess I know who got into the Easter candy dish, now don't I?

40 Things to Do Before I am 40 - Update 1!

One month into it I have made some progress, but there are still several areas I could stand a lot of improvement on. I am not going to focus on the slippages, but instead celebrate the successes and make plans to do better this month!

So here it goes!

40 THINGS TO DO BEFORE I'M 40

Activities
1. Take Jacinda Camping
2. Go away for a Girls weekend with my friends Sherry and Nikki (Update: We are kicking around some dates to get this booked - way excited about it!)
3. Take Jacinda on a tour of the Tygart Dam
4. Get some friends together and go Christmas Caroling
5. Have a yard sale
6. Enter a contest
7. Take a fall driving tour to go leaf peaking
8. Fly a kite - Well I bought a kite, so I think that counts as a step toward the goal.
9. Discover/Experience four new places/events in WV
10. Try Letterboxing

Reading
11. Read the Bible in chronological order - While I am not totally where I would like to be on this reading plan, I have made some progress.
12. Read at least 6 of the parenting/adoption books sitting on my book shelf - I have the first one picked out. :o)
13. Read more in front of and to Jacinda (at least two times a week) - This I have done. In fact one night I was reading and Jacinda asked me what I was doing. When I told her reading, she asked WHY? I don't think she understands the concept of pleasure reading, which is why this goal is so important.
14. Read at least 6 books for pleasure - Part way through this one..it's called Emily Ever After. A Crossings book of the month selection from a million years ago, that I am finally get around to reading!

Artistically speaking
15. Take an Art class/workshop
16. Attend at least 6 live theater performances
17. Attend at least 3 concerts
18. Blog at least 10 times a month (I know a stretch for me!) - DID IT!

In the Kitchen
19. Try two new recipes a month - Tried two great crock pot recipes...Peanut Lime Pork and Balsamic Chicken with Spring Veggies. Both were DELISH!
20. Organize my spices into some kind of usable system
21. Come up with a new storage system for my canned goods
22. Come up with a cost-effective, creative solution for a simple/striking counter top/back splash

Better Home & Garden
23. Plant some flowers
24. Create the playroom
25. Fix that pesky leak
26. Get bathroom lights, towel rack, etc. up
27. Add more lighting
28. Get the garage organized
29. Add French doors and a patio
30. Design my dream bathroom and dressing room for when the time comes

Personal Growth & Development
31. Be a better mom
32. Become a better daughter
33. Nurture my friends more

Health and Fitness
34. Lose 40 pounds – (should it be more? Of course, but this is a great place to start)
35. Learn to love some form of exercise (This is by far the hardest one on the list)
36. Eat no processed foods for one month out of the year

Ethiopian Experiences
37. Start attending the Ethiopian Adoption Group meetings in Pittsburgh
38. Expand my Amharic skills – add 40 new words to my repertoire (Well I added a few...the words for water, table, coffee, yellow, How are you?...so I am on my way!)
39. Do a fundraiser/drive for the children at Miskaye
40. And Last and by no means least…BEGIN PAPERCHASING FOR LITTLE J!!! (I identified my new adoption agency and my new homestudy agency. People are writing recommendations for me...however I need to be honest the two trip requirement took a little wind out of my sails, but I will carry on...cautiously!)

All in all I am quite pleased with my progress! So until next month...

A Rare Glimpse of Us All Together!

My BFF Aimee once said she liked the idea that our girls would never have to look very far to see a family like theirs. I will never be able to explain how much strength and sanity I gleam from our friendship! Thanks a million, man!

Where I'm From

It's probably been a year or so ago that I read a post from Gina's blog where she talked about the Where I'm From writing assignment. I was instantly smitten with the idea and couldn't wait to write my own Where I'm From piece. I started it, but never could finish it until today. For whatever reason, today the ideas, memories and words just flowed. I think this is a great exercise that allows you to reminisce about your roots. There are many sites out on the web to get you started. I deviated from the plan, but that's the idea. If you're interested you can go here for a beginning template.
I hope someday when Jacinda is older she will want to write her own Where I'm From piece and I also hope that when she reads mine, she will have a real sense of who her mother really is and where I am from.

Where I'm From
I am from silver screaming pressure cookers and gleaming glass canning jars, from Heinz ketchup and tiger-striped farm cats.
I am from an ordinary home perched on family land that has been passed down from generations, from goodnights hollered down the hall before bedtime, black Carbon tape, kitchens boiling over with summer heat and barefoot mornings walking in fresh cut green grass still wet with dew.
I am from the blushing pink rose bushes that you could never pick, a rock big enough to sit on with your cousins surrounded by Grandma’s Irises, luscious smelling lilacs whose fragrance I would inhale, a garden full of brightly colored vegetables and a hilltop lined with happy yellow daffodils.
I am from cousins saying grace before family Sunday dinners and strong-willed, good cooks who took turns washing dishes and red plastic Solo cups that Papa insisted we reuse. I am from Beulah Bernice and Billy Frank and Aunt Louise who always had the most interesting things growing in her greenhouse. I am from Aunt Elaine who served chocolate pudding for breakfast and from Easter Egg hunts where the recycled pantyhose eggs always held candy and coins. I am from Clark Bars on Halloween, Saturday night pizzas eaten while watching Hee Haw, opening Stockings first on Christmas Day and summer Saturday nights at the Drive-In.
I am from uncles who played basketball for hours with an old ball and a rusty rim without a net. The same ones who would steal my nose, tug at my pony tails, lovingly call me McGillicutty and asked me if I could hear the Whippoorwill. I am from church-going, community minded, self-giving aunts who wore their hard headedness like proudly earned medals.
I am from “You kids stay out of the Red and Blue rooms,” “you’re old enough that your wants won’t hurt you,” “You don’t sit down, you fall down” and “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
I am from the little white church full of spirit-filled, God-fearing people who didn’t mind hard pews and lengthy church services. I am from the The Old Rugged Cross, Let’s Just Praise the Lord and Jesus Loves me. I am from Rex Humbard, Billy Graham and Jimmy Swaggart. I am from Vacation Bible School with sandwich cookies and red Koolaid, from Sunday School rooms separated by a curtains and Baptisms in the river on warm summer Sunday afternoons. I am from altar calls, Thompson Chain Reference Bibles, Friday night youth crusades, weekend retreats at Mission Farms and revivals that would last for weeks on end.
I'm from eating at the kids table, playing 8-ball with my hands because we weren’t allowed to use poolsticks, being giddy with excitement when the Indianapolis bunch would come in only to find they would tickle me until I almost wet my pants. I am from playing Batman and Robin with my cousins and getting in trouble playing a made-up game called Sticky Glue Part Two. I am from Grandma’s golden Macaroni and Cheese, Anne’s Sweet Peppers simmering on the stove and Aunt Lynne’s Seven Layer Salad masterpiece. I’m from Mom’s Potato Salad and Broccoli Casserole and from the best sweet tea ever made.
From a red-as-a-beet summer face that had to be cooled with a damp washcloth before dining on chicken pate and cocktails which turned out to be a tube of sandwich meat spread on a cracker and an ice cold Coke served in a plastic champagne glass that would come apart if you held it the wrong way. From playing dress up with all of Anne’s jewelry and teetering around in her multicolored heels making clomping sounds on the old wood floor. From being hovered over a silver sink as the stench of the perm solution invaded my button nose and being told it was the price we women pay for beauty. I am from manning the guest book for practically all of my older cousin’s weddings and never being chosen as the flower girl I longed to be.
I am from my daddy’s black plastic lunch box with a green metal thermos covered in black dust. I am from Zest soap, pet bunnies and dogs that never had to be walked. I am from Big Wheels, baby carriages and books read under the covers with a flashlight.
I am from the beloved orange album, handmade Barbie clothes, painted wooden donkeys and milk cans. I am from cloud watching, star gazing and getting my first kiss between the two pine trees at the top of the hill. I am from summers at the Little League field learning first-hand what hard work is all about. I am from placing flowers on a tombstone and still talking to the woman I lost so long ago as tears well up in my eyes. I am from loyalty. I am from loss. I am from love.

End of an Era

What I neglected to mention in my last post was that on my way to meet Aimee for our weekend getaway, my beloved Great Pumpkin (aka my 2002 Ford Focus) decided she had been pushed to the limit and started sputtering just miles away from our meeting place. I had just had her in the shop a few hours before to get new headlights to the tune of $323 (they were very special headlights, you see).
After some diagnostic tests, I got the bad news...her transmission was shot. Due to her age and the fact that I rely so heavily on my car and didn't want her to become a money pit...I cut my losses and let her go. It was a sad goodbye, but she had a life well lived and will probably be seen cruising down the road by someone else in the next month or so.
Which meant car shopping...not my favorite activity. However I found a gem of a car that on my second day driving her, I am thoroughly enjoying!
Introducing...SWEET PEA! (Thanks Aimee for the great nickname!)

She blinded me with Science!

Last weekend Aimee, the girls and I were finally able to get away from it all. We took a short drive to Pittsburgh and made a mini-getaway out of visiting the Carnegie Science Center. The girls had a lot of fun and I think the moms had a great time just getting away and not feeling so stifled or cramped in our everyday surroundings. Jacinda loved the Science Center. She was in awe of many of the exhibits and whispered excitedly "Who knew...what a great surprise!" This totally cracked me up!
After our visit to the Science Center, we headed over to Tana for some really tasty Ethiopian food. The girls loved the injera and I was able to add another couple of words to my Amharic repertoire. A great time was had by all!

SUNSHINE

I finally see the sun...the white snow is melting away and I am so excited to be able to see some green and feel the warm rays on my face!

I love the spring...it is a promise of all things new and rebirth. I can't wait to see the flowers blooming, the birds singing and the days getting longer.

And just like mother nature for whatever reason...I really do feel like I am on the verge of reblooming after a season of winter all my own.

And I can't wait to see the beauty that is waiting to unfold.

Three Friends

My junior year of college...I met two freshmen and quickly developed a soft spot for them and the crazy messes that they were! And somehow I pulled my BFF Aimee along for the ride. These two freshmen were the sweetest, kindest and craziest kids I had ever met. I will never forget on my 21st birthday the pair made me a mix tape (kind of like a compilation CD for you youngins out there!) that made me cry. The two pledged our sorority and were a lot of fun to be around, even when they did need Aimee and I to rescue them!
However they didn't return for the sophomore year and so they were absent during my last year of college. We lost touch with them, but I often fondly thought of the twosome.
Years later, one of these friends re-entered the canvas of my life. She had gotten married and was living in Hawaii. It was a hoot. Sadly we lost touch again but through facebook reconnect last year. I was still waiting for a court date and had mentioned a daughter in one of my updates...she sent me an e-mail asking for "Details, honey!!" I filled her in on my adoption journey and then sent me an e-mail that shockingly stated that she was just finishing her home study and working on her dossier to adopt an infant from....ETHIOPIA!!!
This week my friend leaves to go pick up her gorgeous new son.
And while it may not seem too big to anyone else...I still stand in awe that three women from three seperate towns attended a small liberal arts school with 700 people, pledged the same floundering sorority and years later would follow the same path to motherhood by traveling to a land far, far away! I further stand amazed that through all of this God is not surprised...He knew when we met (before we met) what paths our lives would take and how that young, crazy friendship would someday grow even thicker roots of support and encouragement just when we needed it most.
So safe travels my friend! You're going to love Ethiopia! And your new baby boy is going to love you!

Basket Ball

Basketball season ended last week, so I wanted to post a few photos of Jacinda's first season. She really loved playing it and while I am not thrilled with the level of instruction that was given in her "instructional league." So I have some plans to get her into a program that can better "teach" her. And while I may be partial, I think she is going to be a force to be reckoned with on the court. She's got height and speed and isn't afraid to go in for those rebounds! I am one proud momma!

40 Things to Do Before I am 40

I turned 39 a few weeks ago...it was my first birthday as a mommy. And it was a lot of fun being greeted that morning with a rendition of Happy Birthday to You that warmed my heart! As with every birthday I do a little self-reflecting and this year was no different. Unlike a lot of people I am a BIG FAN of birthdays. I believe they should be celebrated and that you should be able...no should want to...celebrate who you are on those days! And so on Feb. 20th I decided that I am pleased as punch with who I am, where my life has taken me and the path I am traveling.

And since I am love LISTS as much as birthdays, I decided it would be tons of fun to come up with a list of things I want to do before next year - separated into subsections, of course! And before you get the wrong impression...this is no way, shape or form a bucket list!

And I am also going to commit to update my progress on the 20th of every month, leading all the way up to Feb. 20, 2011 - my 40th! So here it goes!

40 THINGS TO DO BEFORE I'M 40

Activities
1. Take Jacinda Camping
2. Go away for a Girls weekend with my friends Sherry and Nikki
3. Take Jacinda on a tour of the Tygart Dam
4. Get some friends together and go Christmas Caroling
5. Have a yard sale
6. Enter a contest
7. Take a fall driving tour to go leaf peaking
8. Fly a kite
9. Discover/Experience four new places/events in WV
10. Try Letterboxing

Reading
11. Read the Bible in chronological order
12. Read at least 6 of the parenting/adoption books sitting on my book shelf
13. Read more in front of and to Jacinda (at least two times a week)
14. Read at least 6 books for pleasure

Artistically speaking
15. Take an Art class/workshop
16. Attend at least 6 live theater performances
17. Attend at least 3 concerts
18. Blog at least 10 times a month (I know a stretch for me!)

In the Kitchen
19. Try two new recipes a month
20. Organize my spices into some kind of usable system
21. Come up with a new storage system for my canned goods
22. Come up with a cost-effective, creative solution for a simple/striking counter top/back splash

Better Home & Garden
23. Plant some flowers
24. Create the playroom
25. Fix that pesky leak
26. Get bathroom lights, towel rack, etc. up
27. Add more lighting
28. Get the garage organized
29. Add French doors and a patio
30. Design my dream bathroom and dressing room for when the time comes

Personal Growth & Development
31. Be a better mom
32. Become a better daughter
33. Nurture my friends more

Health and Fitness
34. Lose 40 pounds – (should it be more? Of course, but this is a great place to start)
35. Learn to love some form of exercise (This is by far the hardest one on the list)
36. Eat no processed foods for one month out of the year

Ethiopian Experiences
37. Start attending the Ethiopian Adoption Group meetings in Pittsburgh
38. Expand my Amharic skills – add 40 new words to my repertoire
39. Do a fundraiser/drive for the children at Miskaye
40. And Last and by no means least…BEGIN PAPERCHASING FOR LITTLE J!!!