Gotcha Day Celebration 2010

I know some people don't like the use of Gotcha Day, but in this case and so many others I've considered over the past 12 months...we've chosen to use it and for us it is the right decision. That being said, we had an amazing celebration with more than 70 people in attendance for the American themed day. Everyone from aunts and uncles to piano teachers and the mayor of our town were in attendance. Jacinda's teaching team and many close friends from our first year were there to share in our joy.

We made the decision in lieu of gifts to ask people to honor our one year as a family with a donation to Miskaye Children's Home in Addis. This is an endeavor of my BFF Aimee and one of the causes I hold near and dear to my heart. Jacinda decorated some collection bins and placed them out at the party. Through the generosity of our friends and family, we are going to be donating just over $500 to Miskaye. Thank you so much to all of you who helped make a difference. I was moved to tears and can't express how much it means to have such generous people sharing in our passion!

Aside from the donations, we spent the day viewing Jacinda's video and fellowshipping. We had a candle lighting ceremony where Jacinda lit a candle for her Ethiopian mommy and one for her Ethiopian daddy and then I took those candles and lit one in the center for her. I presented her with the four dolls I bought for her in Addis last year and then we finished the day with a huge candy toss for the kids.

It was a wonderful, wonderful way to commemorate 365 days of breathtaking memories! I am such a blessed woman!

One year ago

One year ago we landed at Dulles and made the trek to WV, so Jacinda could meet the family. I remember making plans for our return trip was a point of concern for me. I had read that many people offered words of wisdom to downplay the arrival and keep it to just close family...some even recommended noone, but the child's adoptive parents/siblings for a couple of weeks. I read the advice and even considered it, but it just didn't seem to fit. So I chucked the advice and followed my own instincts and made my own plans for a return home...and it couldn't have been better!

Our dear friends Kim & Whitney picked us up from the airport and we headed to a hotel near my parents home in WV. When we arrived, my mom, dad, brother, sister--in-law and niece were all there. We had some introductions, hugs and kisses and lots of SMILES! Then other close friends and relatives started arriving. It was a wonderful homecoming and I will always cherish that moment in time.

Looking back a year later...I couldn't have known then that these people she met in that hotel lobby would be the ones surrounding and supporting our family daily. That in a few mere months WV would be OUR home too. I just knew that I wanted Jacinda to know that she was part of something bigger than a single-parent family. That she was going to be loved by tons of aunts, uncles and cousins and many other very special people. And a year later as I listen to her describe her family to people...she talks about having too many cousins to count and lots of aunts and uncles and will even argue that she has the biggest family...I think she gets it!

One year ago today...

My first morning wake-up as a mother went something like this:

(Setting: Addis Ababa, Ehtiopia - YEKA GUEST HOUSE)

The scene opens with me sleeping peacefully.

AIMEE: Dude. (pause) Vern. (pause) Diann. (pause...as I slowly stir.)

ME: (in annoyance, still not opening my eyes) What?!?

AIMEE: Dude, I think your kid has to pee.

ME: (Eyes flying open!) "I have a kid?!?"

I opened my eyes to see Bizunesh sitting on the edge of her bed looking at me expectantly. I got up and gently guided her the three feet to the bathroom. Thus began the routine of at least month of her asking to go or waiting until I asked her if she had to go to the bathroom.

I thought of this moment today as we were getting ready for the day. I yelled TIME CHECK as is the habit, while I am doing my hair and she runs into the living room and checks the time on her way to grab the breakfast I have laid out for her in the kitchen. "It's 7:25," she yells back. "Is today gym day?" "Can I wear flip flops to school, Mom?" "Do I have to wear a jacket." "Did you sign my spelling word study sheet?" "Am I going to soccer or dance tonight?" The questions just tumble out of the same sweet girl who one year ago today couldn't yet communicate with me and simply patiently waited for me to tell her it was OK to go to the bathroom.

One year ago today...my world changed

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

One year ago today

One year ago today I had landed in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. My best friend Aimee was by my side. It was the night before I was to meet my sweet Bizunesh. I remember being weirded out about how unreal it all felt. How the fact that we had just made an almost 20 hour plane ride and Aimee had already had her first precautionary dose of Cipro...didn't feel strange in the least.

I remember breathing in the sweet smell of Ethiopia and being in awe of the graciousness of the people at the guest house. I remember carefully placing the chosen outfits for Bizunesh on a shelf, laying out her activities and double checking that I had all my paperwork in order.

I remember thinking to myself...this will be the last night of this phase of my life and I remember being so incredibly content.

The week of "One year ago" begins

One year ago today I was making my way to a hotel in Virginia...armed with a suitcase full of flip flops, toothbrushes, toothpaste and other donations. In the other suitcase was clothes for a little princess I had yet to meet. One that would steal my heart away. WOW! That was one year ago today!

The grass is greener

I used to think I wanted to have a well-manicured lawn that would be the envy of all my neighbors, but this is sooooooo much better!!!!!

Real Mothers

As I sat and listened to the little poem the lady at the front of the church was reading yesterday, I heard these words about "real mothers."

Real Mothers don't eat quiche; they don't have time to make it.

Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils are probably in the sandbox.

Real Mothers often have sticky floors, filthy ovens and happy kids.

Real Mothers know that dried playdough doesn't come out of shag carpet.

Real Mothers sometimes ask "why me?" and get their answer when a little voice says, "because I love you best."

Real Mothers know that a child's growth is not measured by height or years or grade...It is marked by the progression of Mama to Mommy to Mother.

This is a cute little poem and I have to admit I chuckled at how many items on the list I have experienced in the last year. But it also made me think of a recent conversation where someone told me that I wasn't a "Real Mother" because I only had one child. I was taken aback by the comment...I have to admit it stung a little bit. But what stings the most for me is that we, as women, as mothers, as other mothers, as friends, as coworkers, as other females continue to look at motherhood as a competition of some sort.

Think how powerful we would be and what a better world it would be for our children if we looked at ourselves as a community of mothers. Some of us come into motherhood through birth, some of us adopt...neither is a better choice. It just is. Some of us stay at home and others have outside employment...neither is a life of leisure. It just is. Some of us have one child and others parent many siblings....but we are all mothers.

I admit I was embarrassed that this woman's (who is an amazing lady, by the way) comments "got" to me. I should be above this. I shouldn't care...but as a newcomer to this motherhood sorority and one that stood on the outside looking in for so many years, I had an idealized vision of what being a mother was going to be like. Sometimes it is far different. I have even found myself passing judgements about other mothers. I have made unkind comments about their skills from what I consider to be too late bedtimes and inappropriate food choices to what appears to be a lack of discipline. But today on Mother's Day I am reminded that I am no mother's judge. In the end aren't we all just trying to do the best for our children? I am hoping that by doing that we will someday find a way to support each other a little more along the way.

Be still my heart...

Jacinda's bedtime Mother's Day prayer

Dear Jesus,
Thank you for today. Thank you for Mother's Day. And thank you very much for sending my mommy to me.
In Jesus' name...Amen.

My prayer added to it...

Thank you Jesus for this beautiful child who lost her first mommy to illness when she was much too young to have to experience the pain of that loss. Lord, heal her heart from that loss and let her remember even more about the mother that gave her life and taught her to love.
And Lord, I am hoping that this beautiful woman is there with you now and if she is...can you please let her know how very thankful I am for this amazing gift I have been given. Tell her that we will all meet in heaven someday, that Bizunesh will remember her and that we love her.
In Jesus' name....Amen.